"We used to communicate so well, but now it seems we have lost that...how do we get back to how it was in the beginning?"
The number one reason why couples seek traditional counseling is due to a communication breakdown that leads to lack of trust and begins to quickly dismantle an otherwise healthy, loving relationship.
As humans, a primary need is to be understood, but if partners are using different modes of communication then there can be a disconnect from the very beginning of any relationship.
Drama Therapy can provide the jump-start to help couples find the excitement and open communication that they experienced at the beginning of a marriage or relationship and the common ground that can build a stronger place from which to understand each other.
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In learning more about the roles we play with others, Drama Therapy offers partners the opportunity to gain greater insight about themselves and about their relationships with others, and also address specific issues that can occur in any relationship such as parenting differences, financial stress, sexual fulfillment, infidelity or any number of issues. Individuals can also learn to identify and express these feelings appropriately and in a healthy way, while gradually learning to exercise internal and external control over impulse behaviors and negative outbursts.
Some of the methods employed during a Drama Therapy session for couples are:
Psychodrama (Re-living an unresolved moment)
Mask-Work (Clients utilize masks to separate emotion from the body)
When Infidelity / Cheating Is Involved:
When I talk with my clients about “cheating” or affairs, a majority are experiencing gut reactions such as anger, betrayal, and hurt, with many left wondering “Why would he/she do that to me?”
Other concerns follow such as “I must not be good enough.” and “He/she must be bored with me.” In actuality, the person that strays is often choosing to have the affair not in an effort to hurt their partner, but because they feel that something is missing in their own life or relationship, and they are continuing to seek a reparative thrill elsewhere instead of opening up a dialogue with their partner, about their needs. The unfaithful party often reports feeling “alive” for the first time in years, and something having been sparked within them during the affair, as damaging as it may be to their relationship.
For the majority of committed couples that reveal an infidelity, the odds are that they will choose to stay together, and try to work through the initial hurt, and breakage of trust. Statistics show that if the damaged partner can initially forgive the affair, through time and committed effort on by both parties they are often able to repair trust and often report a much stronger relationship.
The first few months after the disclosure of an affair are delicate, and need to be handled with the utmost care. In initial sessions, I encourage my clients to start a whole new pattern of communication within the partnership, knowing that the communication style they had previously was most likely not working as intended. Many couples fear the worst when it comes to cheating, feeling as though it is the ultimate transgression, and that it can not be healed. But there is evidence that an affair can actually be the catalyst to repairing relationships that may have had trouble in other areas other as well. Through Drama Therapy, couples can work together towards knowing that even through the roughest moments after the disclosure, there can be an even healthier and connected relationship waiting for you on the other side.