Around the holidays, it can be especially challenging for people who suffer from depression. What should be a joyous time of year is full of pressure, expectations, and comparisons. Even when surrounded by friends or family, it can be a very lonely time.

Depression is talked about, but not nearly enough due to the stigma around it, a stigma that exists despite how many people suffer from the condition. For those who don't intimately understand depression, they may assume it's the equivalent of being sad or disappointed. It's not. It's a clinical mood disorder that severely interferes with daily life.

If you're sad or disappointed, you're not depressed, you're sad or disappointed. Let's all be more careful about how we toss that word around casually – especially this time of year.

And if we really want to bring the holiday cheer, we take things a step further by recognizing some signs of depression. That way, we can be a better friend or family member to those who need support the most.

Take Notice of Isolation

Do you have a friend who has sort of dropped off the map? It’s always good to check in with the quiet ones. They may just be busy – or they could be purposefully isolating. Check in and do your due diligence to make sure they are doing okay!

Listen for One-Word Answers

For people who are depressed, expressing themselves can feel like the hardest chore. To avoid the effort, they'll resort to one-word answers and shut down. Most of that comes from sheer exhaustion, while part of it is feeling like they won't be understood.

Intuitively, you might think you should try to dig deep with them. But the best thing to do is to spend time with them without needing to talk. Offer to come to them with a movie in mind, or to listen to a podcast. The distraction will likely be a welcome relief.

Share Personal (Good or Bad) News to Get the Conversation Going

Just because someone is depressed doesn’t mean that they can’t be a good listener. People tend to use kid-gloves when they don’t need to. Someone who is depressed doesn’t want to be left out of conversations just because they are overwhelmed. If you have news to share, good or bad, keep them in the loop. Again, a distraction from their own racing thoughts can be a good thing!

Go to Them, Don't Make Them Come to You

Part of being depressed is feeling like you aren’t good enough or that you're constantly disappointing people. That means even just hanging out with a loved one can feel like too much.

To help them out, meet your loved one in their comfort zone. Asking a depressed person to be your plus-one to a party might not be the best idea. See if they'd like you to come over for a hangout. Some of the best nights ever are spent hanging out in bed, drinking tea, and listening to music. Remind them that spending time is the most important thing, not what you do together.

One More Note

All this aside, depression is a tricky beast with many factors. Everyone's different, after all. But, commonly speaking, the worst part of depression is being left alone with negative thoughts. All of the above suggestions have to do with helping someone break the cycle as often as you can. The more we encourage people with depression to openly share, the better.

So, this year, give the gift of you!