Communication begins with finding your own voice

Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

This complicated life that we lead is incredibly painful. Loss, grief, anger, transition…all things that cause us to stretch and grow also cause emotional discomfort. In fact, even the most beautiful experiences can feel bittersweet at times. Yet, when we try to avoid pain, we find ourselves experiencing a different type of discomfort: the sadness of a life not fully lived. As the quote says: “pain is inevitable” and that means there is no way around it. The only way is THROUGH.

We are living in divisive times, and we can see this division being played out right before our very eyes. And you know why? Because, no matter the topic, we tend to default to a place of defensive communication, as opposed to leaning into curiosity and feelings.

If you, or someone close to you is a member of the United States Marine Corps, (first of all, thank you for your service) and second, then you are most likely familiar with the unofficial Latin motto “Semper Gumby.” Referring to the adorable, green, animated clay character Gumby, it means "Always Flexible” and encourages one’s ability to roll with the punches and go with the flow.

Change is coming. How do I know? Because it always is. Whether something happy or catastrophic, change is always around the corner, and it's up to us to be prepared for what that might mean. Here's how to be emotionally ready no matter what change the world throws our way.

Sometimes, you look at yourself in the mirror and barely recognize yourself. But don't turn away. Look deep into your own eyes and recognize that you've lost your sense of identity. Our identity is who we are at our core. It's an incredibly important and personal element that we must be in touch with at all times.

Many people think that feelings and emotions are the same thing – but they're not! Emotions are what trigger feelings. For example, an emotional response to new love can bring on the feelings of butterflies in the stomach and sweaty palms.

Do you believe in the mind-body connection? It's fascinating (and a little scary!) how so many of us can disregard our physical state of being when faced with emotional distress.

Social media "gurus" are making countless videos on the subject of shame, which has ignited many conversations with my clients. Our discussions lead to realizations that range from inspiring and uplifting to shock and relief because many don't know that there are two forms of shame: healthy and toxic.

We all feel overwhelmed from time to time. We might be juggling too many commitments, dealing with work pressures, or navigating relationship expectations. Combine that with everyday chores, keeping up with social media and the latest trends, and finding the time to relax?

What do you do when you have a decision to make – but feel torn about what to do? Sure, you can make a pros and cons list. That can be a truly helpful tool for your brain, but it can leave out the key ingredients of decision-making: what’s in your heart, and what your gut instinct is telling you.