Mental tools and life hacks to help you overcome

Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

This complicated life that we lead is incredibly painful. Loss, grief, anger, transition…all things that cause us to stretch and grow also cause emotional discomfort. In fact, even the most beautiful experiences can feel bittersweet at times. Yet, when we try to avoid pain, we find ourselves experiencing a different type of discomfort: the sadness of a life not fully lived. As the quote says: “pain is inevitable” and that means there is no way around it. The only way is THROUGH.

We are living in divisive times, and we can see this division being played out right before our very eyes. And you know why? Because, no matter the topic, we tend to default to a place of defensive communication, as opposed to leaning into curiosity and feelings.

If you, or someone close to you is a member of the United States Marine Corps, (first of all, thank you for your service) and second, then you are most likely familiar with the unofficial Latin motto “Semper Gumby.” Referring to the adorable, green, animated clay character Gumby, it means "Always Flexible” and encourages one’s ability to roll with the punches and go with the flow.

Humans have 27 different emotions. It's true! (I put the full list at the bottom.) For example, today I felt amused, anxious, awkward, bored, calm, confused, envious, afraid, sad, sympathetic, triumphant, and a few combo plates of emotions as well.

Change is coming. How do I know? Because it always is. Whether something happy or catastrophic, change is always around the corner, and it's up to us to be prepared for what that might mean. Here's how to be emotionally ready no matter what change the world throws our way.

Many of us find ourselves walking away from an intense conversation feeling the same way about the situation as the storyteller. We feel their disappointment or frustration. But why is it that we don't do the same when they share their excitement or appreciation?

They say that love should be easy, but that’s a myth. The truth is, love is all about CHOICES, and the choice to love on a daily basis isn’t always easy. At the most basic level, you have the choice to stay or leave, but to stay often means choosing to set boundaries, push the envelope, hold strong, and so on.

When you're feeling upset, forcing yourself to smile can actually make you feel better. It's true! That's because your brain recognizes the muscle movement and responds in kind. But this effect isn't limited to your face; it applies to your whole body. That's one of the many wonders of drama therapy, the ability to act in a way that you want to feel. And the result is feeling that way, even if for a short period of time.

With the new year comes resolutions. But I'm not talking about the over-commitment kind that lasts about a week. Big change often requires a process, and when you're struggling with an addiction of any kind, taking things one step at a time is key.