Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

This complicated life that we lead is incredibly painful. Loss, grief, anger, transition…all things that cause us to stretch and grow also cause emotional discomfort. In fact, even the most beautiful experiences can feel bittersweet at times. Yet, when we try to avoid pain, we find ourselves experiencing a different type of discomfort: the sadness of a life not fully lived. As the quote says: “pain is inevitable” and that means there is no way around it. The only way is THROUGH.

We are living in divisive times, and we can see this division being played out right before our very eyes. And you know why? Because, no matter the topic, we tend to default to a place of defensive communication, as opposed to leaning into curiosity and feelings.

Many of us find ourselves walking away from an intense conversation feeling the same way about the situation as the storyteller. We feel their disappointment or frustration. But why is it that we don't do the same when they share their excitement or appreciation?

All couples fight, regardless of how great their partnership is. From who’s in charge of the dishes to what the right college is for the kids, being with a partner long-term means having a say, and trying to do it the right way!

Do you spend your Friday evenings watching Shark Tank with a partner who is constantly getting irked at the equity offer of the potential investee? Do conversations with your partner inevitably lead to some brand-new scheme about how to make more passive income?

If you are like me, your morning alarm is set on your phone, so the first thing you end up doing is fumbling around for your glowing, chiming beacon of light, and then staring blankly at it, as you try to get your fingers to successfully swipe away the eerie melody.