Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

This complicated life that we lead is incredibly painful. Loss, grief, anger, transition…all things that cause us to stretch and grow also cause emotional discomfort. In fact, even the most beautiful experiences can feel bittersweet at times. Yet, when we try to avoid pain, we find ourselves experiencing a different type of discomfort: the sadness of a life not fully lived. As the quote says: “pain is inevitable” and that means there is no way around it. The only way is THROUGH.

We are living in divisive times, and we can see this division being played out right before our very eyes. And you know why? Because, no matter the topic, we tend to default to a place of defensive communication, as opposed to leaning into curiosity and feelings.

When you're feeling upset, forcing yourself to smile can actually make you feel better. It's true! That's because your brain recognizes the muscle movement and responds in kind. But this effect isn't limited to your face; it applies to your whole body. That's one of the many wonders of drama therapy, the ability to act in a way that you want to feel. And the result is feeling that way, even if for a short period of time.

Sometimes, you look at yourself in the mirror and barely recognize yourself. But don't turn away. Look deep into your own eyes and recognize that you've lost your sense of identity. Our identity is who we are at our core. It's an incredibly important and personal element that we must be in touch with at all times.

Social media "gurus" are making countless videos on the subject of shame, which has ignited many conversations with my clients. Our discussions lead to realizations that range from inspiring and uplifting to shock and relief because many don't know that there are two forms of shame: healthy and toxic.