The Anecdote to Boredom: Curiosity!
This time in quarantine has forced most of us to remain extra still and spend concentrated time with ourselves without distraction. Even though many of us remain busy with home/work/life balance, when that winds down each day, we don’t have the typical outlets to entertain ourselves, and therefore, the word “bored” is getting thrown around quite often.
The world-renowned therapist and relationship specialist, Esther Perel speaks about the concept of staying curious about your partner in order to keep monotony at bay. She suggests that you look at that person as someone about whom you want to continue to know more! The same concept applies to our relationship with ourselves:
· Are you still curious about yourself and how you operate?
· Have you played detective/therapist with yourself recently and asked some of the more meaningful life questions?
· Do you make decisions with intention or just out of repetition and comfort?
When you stay curious about yourself, there is NO WAY you can feel bored! There is always so much self work to do!
During this time, you may also discover that you are someone that thrives on outside attention, and when it’s not available to you in the same way that it was before, your spirit starts to wane. While there is nothing “wrong” with that, this is a good time to think about why seeking attention or validation from others takes precedence over how you feel about yourself. This special “alone time” is the perfect opportunity to fall in love with yourself and to ask, “what’s truly propping up your happiness?”
When all of the clutter is stripped away, can you face yourself and enjoy your own company? If you are needing attention from an outside source, I can bet that if you start to get high on your own self-love supply, that source might not seem as crucial to your happiness. In a previous blog, I mentioned the importance of re-building your social structure with intention as each community starts to open again. That also applies to which relationships you want to invite back into your life. I encourage you to weigh out the pros and cons of your connections and to decide where the true value lies. If this person adds some value to your life, then they should make the cut and continue to be a part of your tribe in at least some way!
Many relationships have been tested by social distancing requirements, and the fact that the social events that used to connect us with others are no longer an option. This is where you can clearly tell who is a “fair-weather acquaintance” and who is a true connection. If it takes some type of event or the lure of drugs or alcohol to make plans with someone, you can see that perhaps your connection with them is not as deep as you had once imagined.
This process of weeding unnecessary stressors out of your life is exactly the type of action it takes to create an environment of focus and to place all of your attention on YOU! You are the most important research project, and when you stay curious about all that you are, that is the way to true happiness, and to avoid boredom!
