How to Always Feel Relevant...
…And Become Your Own Biggest Fan
Sometimes, the simplest questions can be the most challenging.
I'll often ask my clients, "What do you want?" Sounds simple, right? But the most honest answer to that question often takes deep thought, especially when it relates to your happiness. In the end, and (very) generally speaking, the answers fall under feeling relevant, mattering to someone, and being part of a larger purpose.
When we feel useless, it can lead to addictive behaviors and unhealthy coping methods. When we're concerned about whether we're providing enough value for another person to "stick around," it can make us feel sick, leading to self-medicating and self-loathing.
Thankfully, staying relevant doesn't mean knowing every detail about what's trending. You don't need to know every fact about every political candidate, or keep up with every minute of our 24-hour news cycle.
The truth is, feeling relevant comes down to finding passion within your own life. So, how do you go about that? Well…
Talk About Yourself
Discuss what you do with a genuine passion and energy. That includes talking to YOURSELF about yourself. Positive affirmation goes a long way.
See Things Through
You can stay fully engaged in your life by seeing things through from start to finish. Being committed and consistent keeps your own excitement afloat – and inspires others!
Embody What You Do
Whatever it is that you do, love it. And convince yourself and those around you that you would never want to be anything else. Pay attention to how that attitude affects those around you. It’s infectious!
Fake It Till You Make It
Just because it rhymes, doesn't make it untrue. If you find yourself being less than enthused about your life and you can’t take immediate action to change it, then find one thing in your life to hold onto – and talk it up!
If you don’t like your job, but love that you're working toward being healthier physically, then talk about jogging or working out or eating healthy with passion. That will help infuse enthusiasm into other areas of your life.
Spice Up the Relationship
Guess what? When you become bored with yourself, you’re probably not alone. The person who loves you daily might be bored with you too. If YOU are no longer excited about who you are, why should THEY be? Just like passion breeds passion, boredom breeds boredom. When you become bored with yourself, you take yourself out of the equation – and lose your relevancy.
Create the Tools
When we feel passionate, present, and excited for life, we tend to make healthier choices, communicate better, and engage more with our friends and family. With those pillars in place, we have the tools in our belt to help fend off depression and anxiety.
So, take a step back and check in with yourself. What makes you feel most alive? Then focus your attention on that. Notice how that excitement touches other areas of your life, and makes you want to share, which further provides momentum.
Relevancy is an important ingredient for us to feel good, and the key is to become your own biggest fan.
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Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
This complicated life that we lead is incredibly painful. Loss, grief, anger, transition…all things that cause us to stretch and grow also cause emotional discomfort. In fact, even the most beautiful experiences can feel bittersweet at times. Yet, when we try to avoid pain, we find ourselves experiencing a different type of discomfort: the sadness of a life not fully lived. As the quote says: “pain is inevitable” and that means there is no way around it. The only way is THROUGH.